Monday, February 25, 2008

PURE Joy...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

What a deep verse. How many people really know how to apply this verse to life? Pure joy? When I think of pure joy I think of great nights with friends, being in love, or laughter from little girls. But God talks about joy from trials.

I recently found out that I have a soft tissue tumor in the muscle of my left thigh. I went in for allergies a week ago and a few referrals later and I’m waiting for answers to this mysterious little lump on my leg. I’m currently waiting to hear back from the surgeon who will either do a biopsy himself or refer me to a specialist in muscular tumors.

To get clinical – my MRI report states that I have a well-developed lesion which is about 1” long with a ½” diameter. In candy measurements, it’s the size of a snack size Snickers bar. I am currently pondering names for this little tumor, maybe “Princess.” If it is in fact my unborn twin which I absorbed in the womb, it could be named “May.” ((OK, I’m stretching it)) You have to laugh a little, right? Here's a little MRI image for ya'... [this is a section of my leg]So tumor doesn’t necessarily mean Cancer, but that’s not to say that the doctors haven’t skirted around that subject already. In his report, the MRI doctor suggested it could be soft tissue sarcoma which is a form of cancer that develops in muscles or tendons. Who really knows though?...

God does. This caught me by surprise but the God of the universe knows exactly what is happening. While the word ‘tumor’ has replayed itself a million times in my head, God has placed rest in my heart. He is my healer. The Gospel tells us that people would follow Jesus to desolate places just to seek His healing and through their faith they were healed. People were healed just by touching the fringes of His clothes. Faith brings about healing.

A thought that blazed through my mind the other day was, “I’m only 22 – this isn’t fair.” My response to myself was “What? Seriously, April.” Let’s talk about what’s not fair. It’s not fair to me that so many people I love cannot see the face of Jesus. Why do I, a sinner, get to see the face of Love when others are blind to it? That’s not fair. A tumor? – it becomes weightless in the sight of eternity.

As I embraced an eternal perspective on this situation, I found myself getting strangely exciting about the possibilities of cancer. Cancer would cause people to turn to Jesus and pray. I thought of how I could have conversations about the Lord with the nurse that attended me. I imagined my co-worker’s bewilderment as they saw me find total confidence and strength in the Lord, even in the worse of situations. I saw the Lord Glorified through my trials and it made me smile. I saw myself being used by the Lord and it brought about pure joy. Through perseverance I will see Jesus more fully and I long for that much more than I care for my health.

Now – don’t get me wrong. WE (yes, you and me) are praying against this evil. His healing will cause worship (especially in my heart) so we will knock and knock and knock until the Lord answers us. And believe Him when He says He will answer. [Luke 11:9-13]

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